Differences in sexes sometimes leads to confusion

Published 5:57 pm Friday, March 27, 2020


Community columnist

One thing that I have always admired about our country is the vast amount of diversity that exists. People from different origins, races, and religious beliefs all come together to form the greatest country in the world. In essence, regardless of our differences we are all essentially the same. 

Email newsletter signup

However, it seems that many times the differences between men and women leave us scratching our heads. There are differences there that even Stevie Wonder could see.

One such difference is that women will many times have their closet full of nice clothes and color coordinates each to form the perfect outfit for the day. In men’s closets, every T-shirt goes with every pair of pants. We just pull them out at random and put them on without much thought. 

Women seem to have an expanded color vocabulary as well. For example, recently my wife and I were looking at some paint samples and she mentioned she liked the plum or eggplant. I answered, yes I like to eat plums and eggplant as well but what paint color do you want? She just shook her head, patted me on the back as if she felt sorry for me and handed me the paint sample with plum and eggplant printed on them. I had no idea those were actual colors. 

She finally decided on a color called fuchsia. Imagine my surprise when I arrived home to find that I had three gallons of what essentially was pink paint. The clerk at Walmart had a good laugh at my expense when I told that story as I returned the paint. 

Some of the main differences between men and women become evident when in the restroom at a public place. There always seems to be a line at every women’s restroom that I have ever seen. I don’t know the reason for this, but I guess it takes longer when you don’t pee all over the floor and seat like many men that I have seen. I also understand that women are prone to talk while in the restroom while it’s an unwritten rule for men that no talking is allowed while we take care of our business.

The differences in the bathroom extend to the home as well. Most men only have a toothbrush, a razor, shaving cream and a towel with a hole in it stored in the bathroom. Many women have more beauty products in the bathroom than Estee Lauder. I have always fancied myself an intelligent person or at least intelligent enough to muster a passing grade in college algebra, but I am at a loss with many of these beauty products.

I had no idea there were so many types of shampoos. There’s one to make your hair curly and yet another to straighten it out. One to take oil out of your hair and another to add oil in. While I stand helplessly in the beauty isle waiting for my wife to make a selection, I’ve noticed that every bottle of shampoo is enriched with some sort of fruit that promises some effect or another. I enjoy fruit but I don’t rub it on my head. 

Maybe they should start stocking this stuff in the produce section. 

To add insult to injury, I was in the shower this morning and saw packages of something labeled as exfoliating scrub. I didn’t know what that was but the label said oatmeal on it. I don’t know how they made that oatmeal but it was the worst that I have ever eaten in my life.