Easter candy not always what it seems
BY JACK GODBEY
Nothing is more refreshing than knowing that spring is right around the corner. One sure sign that the deadlocks of winter is drawing to a close is that the stores are all full of Easter candy.
I’m not sure how to break it to the candy companies but coming from someone who grew up on a farm, rabbits do not lay eggs and if they did, they surely would not be full of caramel.
To add to the confusion, during this time of year we are supposed to believe that baby chickens are actually made from marshmallows and come in every flavor under the sun.
It seems the candy companies always bring their “A” game. By the time I finally eat of all the Tootsie Rolls left over from Halloween, I am bombarded with every kind of Christmas candy that my sweet tooth just can’t say no too.
By the time that’s gone, I find my cabinets are full of Valentine’s Day candy. That would be the heart shaped box of candy with a bite taken out of each one to see what is inside and then I only eat the ones I like.
Finally, I break down and determine they are not so bad after all and I scarf down the nasty orange glaze and raspberry ones before February comes to an end.
Now the Easter candy is everywhere just in time before all the kids go into a sugar withdrawal. Rabbit eggs and marshmallow Peeps adorn the shelves and just lay in wait to drive some kids into a tantrum that I get to witness every year as I pass by the candy aisle. Meanwhile, the dentists are looking at flyers of condos in Florida waiting for all the teeth to rot.
I can recall one year when I was a child, it was around this time of the year and I went into the store with my 50-cent allowance burning a hole in my pocket. I found a display of boxes that said Robin eggs on the outside. My mind instantly began to imagine how I would take these eggs back home and build a nest for them and hatch my very own Robins.
I have to laugh at this now but at the time my chest was full of excitement at the possibility. I found a nice dark corner in our barn and then waited with anticipation. After a few weeks, I grew impatient and busted one of them open only to find the inside was not a baby bird at all but was instead some sort of malted candy.
My disappointment didn’t end there.
Later that same year I found out that the cigarettes I bought were made from sugar and my chewing tobacco was nothing more than shredded grape bubble gum. I learned quickly that things are not always what they seem and if something seems too good to be true it probably is.
This lesson has carried through my life and has served me well. Because of the great Robin eggs fiasco of 1975, I never believed that Splenda tastes just like sugar or that if I bought one CD for a penny, I would get seven more free. I most certainly never believed that Twinkies were a healthy snack no matter how much they advertise them as being fat-free.
Don’t worry if you can’t find all those colored eggs that you will hide outside. After a few weeks of laying in the sun, you’ll have no problem finding them I’m sure.
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