Dear Abby: Half-sister obsesses over newfound brother

Published 10:46 am Sunday, May 9, 2021

DEAR ABBY: Six months ago, my husband, “Lee,” met his long-lost sister, his father’s daughter from a previous marriage. Lee’s father passed away when he was 6; he is now 30.

Since he and his four siblings met their half-sister, she has become obsessive over him. She calls and keeps him on the phone for hours, three or four times a week. I didn’t mind at first, but it has gotten out of control, and she constantly texts him.

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If Lee doesn’t respond, she texts him asking if he’s angry. She expresses how “in love” she is with him and how happy she is to have met him. (She doesn’t say these things to the others.) When I recently expressed my concern, he got offended.

How should I cope with this? She also says unflattering things about me to him and tries to turn him against me. I know, because I heard the whole conversation. — PUT OFF IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR PUT OFF: Your husband may be flattered by the attention he’s receiving from this newfound sibling, but I agree that what she’s doing seems excessive. Your husband, however, is playing into it by being receptive and constantly available for these extended conversations and texts.

While you can’t control who he talks to, you can express that you feel her behavior is out of line, you are concerned that she’s trying to undermine your marriage, and suggest it may be time to step on the brakes with Sissy.

DEAR ABBY: I am attending my hubby’s 50th class reunion, where I will not know a soul. Can you give me suggestions on topics to talk about? We grew up in different areas of the country. We live on a small farm in the countryside and have kids and grandkids. Thank you. — PREPPING FOR A GOOD TIME

DEAR PREPPING: Go and enjoy yourself. Don’t be nervous. Bring pictures of your farm, your children and the grandkids. View photos of your husband’s classmates’ families and say something complimentary. (“Aren’t they adorable?”) Ask what your husband was like when he was their classmate. People love to talk, so be a good listener. Discuss things that interest you and inquire about their interests and activities. The only topics to avoid are religion and politics.

DEAR ABBY: At 67, I’m an attractive woman. I always have been, but I have been out of the dating scene for several years. Now two men are interested in me.

One is someone I know from work. I have known him a year. He told me he always had a crush but was afraid to make a move. The second guy is someone I just met on a dating site. I haven’t had a problem like this for 20 years! What to do? — DILEMMA IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR DILEMMA: You don’t have to make an immediate choice. Keep things casual and get to know them both better, assuming you haven’t had a personal relationship with your co-worker. Take your time, let the relationships evolve. The answers will become apparent, and you won’t have to ask me what (if anything) to do.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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