Dear Abby: Landlord mother dragged into bitter breakup
DEAR ABBY: My daughter is separated from her husband, who rents a room from me. Recently, without telling her, he dropped her from his insurance. Now she wants me to kick him out and she’s mad at me because I refuse to do it. She says it shows I approve of his behavior. She tells me that he’s no good, he used her and he hit on her girlfriend. She’s threatening that if I let him stay, we won’t be close anymore.
He pays me on time, and I hardly ever see him because he works at night. I need the rent money, and we have always gotten along great. I say this is my house and I should decide if he leaves. What do you think? — IN THE MIDDLE IN FLORIDA
DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: You need to explain to your daughter that the reason her husband is living with you is because you need the income. Even if you wanted, you might not be able to kick him out right away because of whatever eviction laws may exist in your state. This is your house, and the decision whether to evict him should be yours. However, if you continue allowing him to rent from you, it may cause a breach with your daughter that could be permanent.
DEAR ABBY: I often feel left out. This past weekend on Facebook I saw two co-workers and a former co-worker went on a weekend getaway. I wasn’t invited. Should I retaliate, or must I act like it doesn’t bother me? This isn’t the first time friends and co-workers have done things like this. I’ll comment on their post — “looks like fun” — but never get invited. How should I feel about this and what should I do? — OVERLOOKED IN MINNESOTA
DEAR OVERLOOKED: What you should “do” is recognize that your co-workers are not obligated to include you in anything outside of work. They may have mutual interests that bring them together, or chemistry that they don’t have with you. Instead of fuming and fantasizing about “retaliating” (which would be uncalled for and inappropriate), form relationships outside this circle of co-workers and friends, and do things on weekends for yourself that are satisfying. If you do, you will be less dependent upon these individuals and less disappointed if your relationships with them aren’t as close as you wish they were.
DEAR ABBY: I have been reading your column for many years, but haven’t seen this question before. I’m a senior citizen with a do-not-resuscitate order. I am concerned that if something were to happen to me and I was taken to a nearby hospital, they wouldn’t know I have one on file with my health care provider. Is there a way to let first responders know? Thank you for the continual service you provide. — LAST REQUEST IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR LAST REQUEST: Many individuals accomplish this by posting a notice near their bed, on the refrigerator or in their cellphone contact list designated as ICE (In Case of Emergency). There are also cards that can be carried in the wallet to alert the EMTs about the patient’s wishes. Your health care provider can tell you how to get one.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Good advice for everyone — teens to seniors — is in “The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It.” To order, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)
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